Cold
water rushed into the porcelain sink. I splashed a little
over my face and looked up at the mirror, seeing for the
first time that day, the wide eyed look of sleep deprivation
that tainted my features. One joint and I was already hammered.
We'd only arrived in Amsterdam 30 minutes before. The long
walk to our rendezvous in the Dolphin's
bar in Leidesplien had served to provide only exhaustion
and I was going to need to really smoke hard if I was to
survive the evening.
Then I saw the sign.
A white piece of A4 paper, placed above the hand-drier in
the men's toilets of the Dolphins...
I've waited for around six years to see those glorious words
adorned
upon paper in a bar or coffeeshop. Six years of smoking
and drinking heavily, I've lost count of the amount of places
I've been and never before have I seen the words...
During the cannabis cup,
WE ARE OPEN 24 HOURS
Oh yes.
The
next morning, armed with a judge's pass, we made our way
to the Pax Party Centre, to check out the 15th Annual High
Times Cannabis Cup. Last year's event saw us flying out
early one morning and running around the cup for one day,
flying back in the evening. This year we decided to pace
ourselves a bit!
The first thing to notice on arrival at the cup is that
the Pax Party Centre is right next door to the local police
station! Perhaps a hilarious coincidence or more likely,
the venue was chosen for the irony value.
On the entrance, and dotted all around the building was
another sign I quite liked: NO Cigarette smoking - Ganja/Tobacco
combos’ ok.
Inside, the centre is made up of three floors. On the ground
floor, the judges centre where talks and lectures take place
on anything from growing techniques to cannabis legalities
across the world. Had we the time to judge the 27 entering
coffeeshops on their weed and hash entries, we would have
placed our votes here, and at all times American 'judges'
could be seen milling about with their fully stamped cannabis
cup booklets, rating the strains.
The other two floors are devoted to stalls operated by all
the players in the cannabis scene. All the big seed companies
were there, showing off their cup entries, massive buds
dripping with sticky resin. Huge cannabis plants cultivated
by real experts.
As we needed to make an order anyway, we made our way over
to the Dutch Passion stand. They had some great plants towering
above, and behind a screen a large bud of their main entry
'Euphoria' with it's crystals glistening in the light.
The guys at Dutch Passion gave us a free sample of this
and their other entry 'Skywalker'; which we immediately
fashioned into a large spliff to set us up for the day ahead.
Wandering around the cup, we found stands containing all
manner of innovations geared towards the consumption, understanding
and advertising of cannabis. From funky little t-shirts
sporting cannabis leaves and slogans, through to new types
of pipes and vaporisers.
One of the biggest buzz words this year seems to be 'bubble
(Ice-o-later/water) hash'. This is a relatively new method
of making hash from the lower leaves and twigs of the cannabis
plant. The bits that under normal circumstances would either
be thrown away, used in cooking, or sold to desperate stoners
for £60 an ounce (ahem, but that's another story).
With the aid of new 'ice-o-lator' bags (appearing on the
site soon), these bits of the plant are mixed with ice and
water. Using a system of filtration bags, each with a different
screen size, the trichomes can be separated from the water,
and compressed into top quality hashish. The hash is sometimes
known as ‘Bubble Hash’, because if done properly,
the resulting hash should actually bubble when heated. It’s
incredibly potent and while the quantity of hash may only
be about a tenth of the weight of the original plant matter,
the amount of smoke produced from a very small amount has
to be experienced to be believed!
The fact that there are differing names for this system,
relates to the fact that competing companies appear to claiming
responsibility for its invention. Apparently tensions were
running high at the cup, although I never managed to find
out the details.
Wandering around a bit more I ran into Joel, the owner of
Sweetleaf. He showed me the new grinder cleaner that will
soon be coming with all the Sweetleaf grinders. The rubber
tube goes over the top of the grinder, and as you twist
it removes all those little bits of weed that irrevocably
attach themselves to the outside of the grinder, making
it sticky and difficult to use.
As I stood chatting to him, a couple of guys from Sweetleaf
glass asked if I would sign a petition.
It appears that Sweetleaf's glass entry (a hand blown piece,
lovingly crafted and named the 'Triple Percolator'), had
been omitted from entry into the cup. I listened as the
disheartened glass blowers explained their story. While
the percolator was
in the display containing all the entered products, due
to an administration gaffe at the cup, somehow they had
been left out. In an attempt to get back into the cup, they
were wandering around asking people to sign their petition.
I did.
Moving on, I came across a massive vaporiser and stopped
to take a photo of it.
"Try it!" Shouted a white haired, wild-eyed gentleman;
enthusiastically pushing the substantially sized tube towards
my face... My protests were very few, and very quiet, "but
I've gotta stay straight and take some phot... ahh what
the hell!”
Inhaling deeply, at the large tube, I pulled my head back
and could suddenly taste the sweet cannabis. If you've never
had a vaporiser before (shame on you, we sell them on the
site and they're fantastic!), it's not like smoking or taking
a bong. It's kind of like smelling cannabis with your mouth
instead of your nose. You taste an aroma... it's great.
It’s also the safest way of smoking cannabis. The
vaporiser heats the cannabis to the exact point where the
THC vapour is released. This vapour contains little or none
of the harmful carcinogens associated with
the combustion and inhalation of cannabis.
"Thanks!" I said.
"Have another one!"
I took a second, more daring hit from the Vaporiser.
The gentleman explained that he was the vaporiser’s
creator, and that he was basically at the cup for the sole
purpose of getting people stoned. Great.
He led me over to the Serious Seeds stand, which proudly
displayed the largest vaporiser I've ever laid eyes on.
I declined this one on the grounds that I may have difficulty
walking afterwards, so he offered the vaporiser to other
passers by whilst explaining to me how it worked. Half way
through his explanation, he stopped suddenly;
"its working now isn't it?” he exclaimed.
"Sorry?"
"It's working now!", he grinned at me, "you
only need two hits and you can feel it right here!",
he made various motions with his hands to indicate the inside
of his head.
He was right, I could feel a decidably stoned feeling milling
about my brain, and things were starting to become a little
fuzzy.
Christ! I'm mashed!
We wandered around a few more stalls, sampling bongs and
vaporisers here and there. One of the coolest things we
saw was an entire growing system, hidden within a discrete
black cabinet, about the size of a small wardrobe. 
Designed to house a single mother plant and six other plants,
the system would allow a harvest every 6 - 9 weeks. The
light was completely undetectable with the door closed;
it emitted no smell and was basically the stealthiest growing
system I have ever seen! For an initial outlay of 1500 Euros,
you may never need to buy weed again!
If you like to munch on cannabis, but you're bored with
the same old recipes, we found a Canadian man who makes
cannabis candy bars; soft gloopy chocolaty bars that really
taste great... as we munched on our samples, we decided
to get back to the hotel, with a view to rest a little,
before hitting some of the coffeeshops entering the cup.
The evening was spent wandering around central Amsterdam,
visiting many different coffeeshops. While the styles and
clientele of the coffeeshops can differ greatly, it’s
very easy to allow all these to blur into one long stoned
haze, and to be honest, that’s exactly what we did!
Waking the next morning at a ridiculous time, with more
than a little cotton wool filling up the inside of our heads,
three of us made our way to the Pax Party house... Somehow
the previous evening at about 3am, we came up with the idea
of trying to do every bong and vaporiser on offer at the
cup. Dan rose to the challenge, although not really early
enough, and so by the time we had managed to get inside,
obtain the first beer of the day (we all have our little
vices!), and roll a big spliff, we found ourselves with
half an hour left before he and George would have to leave
to get their flight back to England.
Half an hour, a plane to catch, countless bongs, and a video
camera...
Dan hit the bongs like a trooper, taking hit after hit.
We visited our friend with the large glass vaporisers at
the Serious stand, sampled the massive bong at Sensi seeds,
Dan took the most incredible amount of smoke from a glass
bucket bong, but it was the last one that caught my eye,
a small vaporiser that pushed the vapour into a large poletheyne
cylinder with a valve at the end. Once the cylinder had
filled up completely, the plastic valve allowed it to be
carried around and smoked at will...
With Dan muttering incoherently in a horse whisper, desperately
trying to obtain liquid, we made a made break for the Airport...
As it stood, they had one hour until the flight… check
in was one hour before the flight.
Waiting
for trams in Amsterdam can be quite frustrating. While they
run quite regularly, and far more efficiently than any London
transport could possibly hope to; Amsterdam, being completely
flat, is very windy and therefore very cold.
Waiting for a tram when you’re in a big hurry and
every second counts is a very agitating experience... especially
whilst extremely stoned… Luckily they just made it...
I'm told Dan held himself quite well on the journey home.
I made my way back to the hotel.
We'd decided to try and get around every coffeeshop entered
in the cup, preferably in one evening. (The best laid plans
of mice and stoners!) It was nice to see some of the lesser
known coffeeshops that I hadn't been to on my previous excursions
to Amsterdam. Some of the entries into the cup are very
small coffeeshops that you can imagine aren’t normally
visited by a great many tourists. Little out of the way
coffeeshops where the Amsterdam locals hang out. The coffeeshops
were full of interesting people, most seemed to be from
Canada and the US. We spent the evening and most of the
next day going around as many coffeeshops as possible...
the main difficulty was in getting so stoned that it was
impossible to navigate. We found ourselves wandering around
Amsterdam in a stoned haze, desperately trying to make sense
of the map in the cup guide... After a joint of ‘Knockout’
purchased in ‘De Kuil’, I found myself so stoned
I was literally hallucinating... I couldn’t even remember
why I was in Amsterdam, let alone get my head around map
reading and finding the next shop… But still, I had
Jacqui doing the map reading, so all I had to do was follow
her…. Except she was completely out of it as well…
We caught the wrong tram three times altogether!
When we thought we could take it no longer, (and when we
managed to find our way!) we went back to the hotel, to
get ready for the awards ceremony in the Melkwig in Liedesplein.
The ceremony was laid out in a massive stage in the Melkwig
venue, and was very similar to movie and TV awards you may
have seen, except every single person there was stoned!
From my ‘vantage point’ (a better description
would be ‘tiny spot of floor at the back that I managed
to squeeze onto and claim as my own for the duration of
the ceremony) at the back of the upper level, I watched
the proceedings, snapping photos
where possible, and filming the event with my digital camcorder.
As each winner was announced, they would amble onto the
stage amidst claps, cheers and the occasional yelp, and
accept their award with a little speech. The winners are
listed on our Cup Winners page and photos of the ceremony
can be found here.
After the ceremony, the stage was cleared for the musical
act of the evening, ‘The Fun Lovin’ Criminals’.
Much as I enjoy the band’s music, and would very much
like to see them live, I was way too stoned and way too
hot to stay in the main room; and I attempted to make my
way over to the bar for a very much needed beer and spliff
ensemble, coupled with an essential move to a sitting down
position. (I’ve since heard that the band are getting
dropped from their label… so I missed what will probably
be their last gig… hindsight being a wonderful thing!)
One quick spliff turned rapidly into about five… and
myself and Mark stumbled back to the hotel.
The next morning before our plane journey, we bid a fond
farewell to Amsterdam, smoking the last of our weed in the
Dolphins coffeeshop. We got to the airport, and wandered
through passport control. Whilst going through the metal
detector, I rather stupidly left my pocket computer in that
very place, and of course set the alarm off. I was immediately
searched by a large Dutch security guard wearing an ‘I’m
very serious about my job’ expression.
My pockets were full of random crap, and emptying them out
produced a roll of about 300 EDIT stickers, some cards,
flyers and lighters, a grinder, a couple of empty baggies,
and leaflets from damn near every single stall at the cannabis
cup… in amongst these rather obvious giveaways, was
a half smoked spliff! How the hell did that get there!?!
Stopping only to quickly shit myself, I immediately engaged
the security guard’s attention and tried to keep his
eyes away from the little pile of cannabis paraphernalia
with the half a spliff sitting on top for all the world
to see.
Thankfully… (oh so very thankfully), he didn’t
notice… or if he did, he didn’t care…
I obviously wasn’t planning to hijack a plane!
So I was very happy upon reaching the carpark at Luton airport,
to be able to experience one more little bit of Amsterdam
skunk, before I had to trundle home, pick up the phone and
try desperately to score an eighth of low grade English
crap.
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